I was talking to a cousin of ours a few days ago and I was asking her if she had a boyfriend and she told me that she used to have someone whom she lived with for a longer period of time. I asked her if she usually finds a boyfriend easily and she told me that it was pretty hard for her to find one. I told her I used to have the same problem when I was younger because I wasn’t and still am not such a good-looking person who sweeps girls off their feet.
She told me: ‘You know, being ugly too is a gift from God because you can be certain that the person who stays besides you (your boyfriend, girlfriend) likes you not only for the way you look, but for the way you really are as a person’. I liked what she said very much and I rejoiced.How can we in fact be ugly? If I am ugly, but I resemble God, that means God is ugly as well.
‘So God created mankind in his own image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’
I sometimes like to think that if I asked someone: What does your mother look like, is she ugly or is she beautiful? What would they answer me? I am certain they would say: ‘My mother is very beautiful and I love her’. I say the same about my mother. For each one of us our mother is beautiful and we are very fond of her. But if I see someone else’s mother in the street and she is in her fifties, what is my opinion about her then? According to the way we, the youth today think, surely I wouldn’t consider her beautiful.
For me my mother is beautiful because she loves me so much, because she always takes care of me, because she has always been besides me for a quarter of a century, because she is my mother…
These being said, we notice that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and there is no qualitative or quantitative measure. The beauty of the other person is rendered by the way I relate to them. If I judge a person prior to at least getting to know them, I will related to them incorrectly and I won’t like them, because I have forced myself to do so, due to my prejudice. But I don’t judge them at all and I am open and sincere towards them, through this I get them to open up as well, to become known, to show their beauty.
The only ugly thing in the world is sin. And whoever commits the sin takes part of the dreadfulness of sin. But because we are all sinners, and nobody is righteous before God, I must not judge anyone for committing sin, I must not see the sin of others, but my own. By doing that, my desire will not be to see the sin of others, but their beauty.
The Lord Christ tells us that our eyes light up to our whole body when we only see the good:
‘The eye is the lamp of the body. So then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.’
The beauty of each person comes from their relationship with the others. I can’t be beautiful on my own, but I am beautiful in the eyes of my wife, of my little girl, of my friends. Likewise I can’t be ugly on my own, but only in the eyes of those who don’t love me.
‘A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.’
Translated by Claudia