The man…instead of judging him, I could know him. And if I know him, why shouldn’t I understand him? Working with people is the same as with flowers – delicately. Otherwise, there’s no one left to greet us daily with bright colors in the eyes or with caring hands having the fragrance of sincere dedication perfume. To be other man’s brother is a divine gift, the price of a soul is given by the people we gather inside it.
We are deeply affected by the smallest critic toward us. However, we offend others every time we want to be superior to them, thus seeking a “justification” of our status. We tend to be noticed, praised and, why not, applauded.
The man which judges the others is so empty inside, that his expressed thoughts are a humiliating echo of his nakedness. All his life he tries to make himself a name based on the other people’s faults. When you judge, you do not respect the privacy of your neighbors’ choices. When trapped within this hard work of “pointing the finger” to the other and accusing him, you feel as you are the ruler of an empire. If we carefully self-analyze ourselves, we can see that each one of us had, at least once, such an attribute. Empires within other empires, “masters” with “masters” joined hands daily, planning how to be the ones on the top of the pyramid. And yet, in the mystery moments, they were also enveloped by the divine presence.
I was stopped by that kind pained look from the Church’s icons and the sigh of those I had kneeled with my wrong words. Then I would have given the entire empire of “satisfaction” in exchange for the deletion of my regrets. My “crown” became anxiety to me and didn’t know from whom to begin asking for forgiveness. In the “moments of glory” I thought that no one can hit me, that I cannot be “touched” by anybody. But finally, I cried. Terrible remains the sigh of the one who is distant from Christ! It is incomprehensible how He is still with you. For if it wasn’t then God who destroyed “my empire”, today I couldn’t imagine me as a human being. I have not received even one critic from Him…not even one without words!
It is conquering the beginning of the new life. I didn’t even promised that I won’t repeat that mistake. That is because not for promises but for the Savior’s sake you give up the world’s “empires”. Christ, for the sake of my reconciliation, put me back on His way.
Every sin extends from earth’s one end to the other. A life after another suffers because of it. Sin becomes revolution with God into our hearts, everyone of us forgetting so fast that Jesus listens to us even though we don’t listen Him….The urge of Lord stays the same: to come home ! We were gone so many years, enslaving our souls to others by the evil men of our words; with great fear we lived many times, but today we must heal. “There’s no place like home”, no mater how tempting are the offers from the world. Christ, our holy shelter, expects each one of us like a Father, Friend, Guider, Helper, by the “heart’s desire” of the one who returns. Thus, it not only me who knows Him, but also I recognize Him no mater how far away I would be. There does not exist any critic that could change God’s desire to embrace us….no mater how much emptiness it (the critic) would rise into our hearts. You gather Christ into your heart by celebration. Only then you see how great He is!
May God enlighten your way to Heaven!
With love, Alina
Translated by Cristina Şerbănescu
I am a child. Although I am only 16, I still remain your child. I wrote to You because, as every time, I am sure You will answer me. You always know how to answer me through Your Caress, through Your ceaseless love. I am in the position of the disobedient, impatient, perhaps naive child. I do not follow Your will… or I am not even aware of it. I wish I could understand Your Paths… I wish You could guide me Yourself towards them. Guide me towards the ever-flowing spring of Your endless Love.
I have tried to look at You. My sight cannot pervade beyond Your unapproachable Light. It cannot pervade beyond the Cross of the Holy Altar. I look at You and Your blood washes my thoughts. I look at You once more, but Your voice captures my attention telling me: „Take, eat, this is My Body which is broken for you for the forgiveness of sins…”. I fall before You for the third time… my cheeks are covered with tears transformed into drops of dew. It is as if my burning words of longing wish to fly towards You.
O, how I wish You could hear me…! How I wish You could see my pain…! But… I am a child unworthy of Your goodness. Unworthy of what I ask of You. Unworthy of what You give me.
What I ask of You is not in vain. You are not indifferent to my words. You are… my Father. And the Father is aware of His child’s torment. I would like to ask You to reprimand me, to scold me for what I do, but… I am stopping here. Your warm goodness and Your overwhelming love greet me every time I enter Your House. I stand up and try to hide the sadness which has dwelled like clay upon my eyes. But You, Lord, put the clay upon the blind man’s eyes and he saw. Make me see Your gifts… see Your Glory and Your Joy. Teach me how to love You as well as my neighbor that You bring across my path. Looking at him, I fall before You again… looking at You and remembering Your command… to love one another. O. Lord, pour out into our hearts the ray of Your joy. Work in our souls guiding our steps towards Your commands. Pour out into them Your Caress…
I am concluding now, but my thought elevates to You.
Give, o, Lord, eternal lily perfume to my warm prayer
Forgive me, I am just Your child…
Translated by Claudia