Eeeh…I went to the church, and it was given to me the Holy Communion. The fact that I don’t fast or that I went to the disco last night, I drank and I slept around, doesn’t matter. How could the father know what I was doing? He’s just asking me if I’m smoking, or drinking and then he gives me the Holy Communion. The same applies before the wedding as well…little does it matter that I’m living in adultery, it’s fashionable, if I don’t do it, it means I’m not like the others…Lust is leading the way for all of your friends, if you don’t do the same, you will excluded…the more lustful, the cooler you are among them.
What’s the big deal if I took Holy Communion being unworthy of it and then I spat, I went home, lit a cigarette, and I’m still doing the same sins?
Unfortunately this is the sad truth. A father told me the other day that he tried to bring one woman’s soul closer to the church, he heard her confession, but he couldn’t give her the Holy Communion so he assigned her a small penance, and was preparing to give her holy Epiphany water. He had to hand her the water in a small room, so that neighbours not to see and mock her; till then she has never come back.
Unfortunately this is what happens in current modern cities. Did the father refuse to give me Holy Communion? I won’t go to that church anymore or I’d better go to another father or stop going altogether, what sins do I have after all (without being aware of Satan’s deceit)? So what, if the father called my attention to the fact that I showed up with make-up, primmed and trendy, I went to take Holy Communion and others should see it, right?
How could the poor soul know that she’s living for the Good Lord and not for other people, and one doesn’t have to be in fashion, but to be acceptable in front of God?
Fasting and prayers drive away dark thoughts and sins, and the confession washes away the dirt of sins, cleansing the soul. How could she know that the moment she’s confessing she’s standing before our Lord Jesus Christ who is there, present, forgiving one’s unworthiness.
The process of washing away sins through penance and holy Epiphany water should be a process of immense joy, receiving forgiveness!
Yet, in cities, general confession from the age of 7 up to present is not customary (could it be due to the lack of time?) and many don’t take it into consideration. They don’t know the importance of cleansing one’s soul. Many people don’t know, it could be a possibility, that’s true.
I had a father confessor in the city, …he asked me questions, I answered and that was all, I wasn’t thinking of saying anything else apart from answering his questions. Until about 6 years ago, when I went to a monastery, to a holy father and I thought I should confess. I read the confession prayers and I was waiting to go in, but I was so ashamed I wanted to leave (how was I supposed to know that Satan was trying to get me out of there?)
Finally, I plucked up courage, I asked the Father to bless me to confess my sins and I started. Honestly, at that moment I felt like two human beings into one, I wondered how could my mouth speak so much?! The Holy Father was in fact a seer in spirit, but because of the piety he had, and still does, he did not let it be known…he was just telling me parables and I remembered all the dirt I had done and confessed everything… even I couldn’t realize how I ended up having so much to confess.
At the end he told me for next time to write my sins on a piece of paper, all my sins from when I was 7 years old, and that I should use confession guides or the Romanian Pilgrim to remember them. When I went out, I felt I could fly…I was relieved and the holy Epiphany water was (and still is) the most precious thing…I found no words, and words are still lacking when I want to thank the Good Lord for the joy He had bestowed upon me. Since then, I felt change come gradually and if I tried to repeat any of the confessed sins, I could see the father before me, scolding me.
True joy after an honest confession can’t be described in words….
How wonderful would be for us to realize this aspect, which is in fact the most important. This holy father always reminds us that “we know neither the time nor the place when our lives will end, and we shall be taken in the state we are in, therefore, we should be ready at all times.”
Confession and Holy Communion are the most precious gifts the Good Lord has given to us, that kill the roots of sin and sorrow.
May God help us and may you have a blessed and easy fasting time!