The Wedding Mystery

Convenience marriages

The need to love and to be loved is in fact the need of a person for another. Yet, what happens if that person marries you for the material things you have to offer only?

Today I suggest we address an issue preoccupying young people, men and women alike. We often see couples who’ve got all the material comfort before getting married. It’s not a bad thing at all, but “where from?” one may wonder, considering the times we are living in. There must surely be an explanation: parents’ financial support.

I’m not saying that parents shouldn’t help their children, but to me it doesn’t seem fair that a young person with both arms and legs should wait upon their support all their lives. When not receiving a really consistent help from our parents, many of us turn, out of commodity towards a “marriage with advantages.”

I have seen this sort of cases around me, with young ladies giving up a long term love story only too easily, and who got married to guys who were “recommended” to them by their parents, or just guys they met themselves, upon frequenting all sorts of places where money made the rules. A guy has a girlfriend, they fall in love, and all of the sudden she disappears and marries someone else within a week. Lies have spread up to this level.

Perhaps in nowadays society love is no longer the sole reason that could bind two souls together in the holy sacrament of matrimony. For the most pragmatic of us, possessing a house and a car is enough to ensure happiness. God, how they are deluding themselves! Marriage is everything but a child’s game, and if there is no real love between the spouses, that union will not even take place or it won’t last and they will end up living their lives through lies. Do you want that for yourself? If you do, you can’t imagine how terrible it is. Solitude in company awaits…

We should each have our life principles, which are the effect of our education or our own ideas concerning our expectations in life. I have chosen a marriage with no financial implications, grounding my choice on the idea: neither of us has anything, let’s work together to gain it. And believe me, satisfaction measures up to it. With a peaceful heart upon looking back we say that everything we own, we have worked for it together. I know you cannot have it all at once. Yet, with patience and plenty of work, one manages to have almost everything. The most important thing is to have one another. It’s not a shame to pay rent till you manage to buy a place, or to travel by bus because you don’t have a car. All of this can be bought in time, this is why I don’t believe that losing your soul and your opportunity for happiness and redemption by accepting the compromise of a convenience marriage are necessary.

We should be the ones to choose the people with whom we are to share the good and the bad, not our mother or father. What’s worse is that money decides it for us. Because this way, without knowing or realizing it, we are selling our soul to the devil, who loves money. And we end up not knowing who we are, desperately trying to fill in the gap with objects that can be bought with money. Because we chose money…

Another problem I’m noticing is that we avoid work. Especially those of us who have the power to do so. We graduate from college and dream about fabulous salaries. If we don’t receive amounts as high as our cleverness, we don’t bother to work for less than that. And then, out of complacency, we look for a girlfriend or boyfriend with money. As if the money was yours! To me it’s embarrassing to ask for money from someone else in order to cover my  expenses. For some people, this might not be such big a deal. But I’m wondering how they are feeling…I think it would be way simpler to use your own wallet to pay the restaurant bill. You’ll feel satisfied with your work, and your conscience will be at peace. Plus, it’s a nice gesture.

The Holy Bible talks about the fact of being one body. How do you think such a unity could be possible if there is no love between the spouses? Comfort and travelling abroad are consoling for a while, yet there are plenty of times when you’re left alone with stuff and you realize the person in front of you is a stranger. Or, you’re sick and there is no one to offer you a glass of water, because she / he doesn’t care about you and the only thing left is to call your mother, or direct reproaches towards those who told you that she / he’s “the best catch ever.” Nobody cares anyway, because you’re living with him/her under the same roof.

I don’t want to seem mean or offend anyone. Far from me the thought! The only thing I want is for you to see with your mind’s eyes the reality we live in. Let us not burden our conscience with this sin. Don’t delude yourselves, because joy resides within the smallest of things…

(Gabriela Tudor)



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