The Wedding Mystery

Spiritual advice before getting married

Someone entered our site searching for „Spiritual advice before getting married”. We will try to give some tips from our family experience.

  • Firstly, you can’t have a happy marriage without God. Christ, the Lord, is the One who reconciles the man and the woman everyday in understanding, and helps them in their weaknesses. No matter how great is love between spouses, problems will still arise because we all sin and the devil worms himself to confuse things. So, all that you build up together, build up in God and with His help.

  • The base on wich you will bild up your family life, as a mystery of God, is the Christian marriage with all that involves a marriage.

  • Pray one for another every night to God, saying: „Help me, Lord, to love and make me understand Andrew and make him love me too. Help us to understand each other and not to quarrel. Redeem us, Lord, and help us to love all people.” Pray with simple words, just pray for each other. When you see he’s wrong, tell him, but don’t insist. Go, pray for him and you’ll feel immediately how he changes.

  • Go together to the Liturgy, confess your sins as often as you have the possibility to the father confessor (it is very important to have the same father confessor), receive the Eucharist and pray together.

  • Keep your intimacy without others see the problems and weaknesses that are normal for every couple. As the proverb says: „Wash your dirty linen at home” without parents even know it, because they are subjective and they will complicate things more than to solve them.

  • Be wise and respectful; when you see your spouse angry or enraged, don’t stand in her/his way, let her/him to settle and then talk together. When there are arguments, use a joke or change the subject to avoid contradictions.

  • Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. Strive hard to forgive and to make it up before the end of the day, before bedtime. All difficulties can be overcome with patience and gentleness.

  • Do not try to change the one besides you, change yourself first. For example, I tried to make my wife to pray more, although I told her for many times, she did as she wanted. The solution is to start praying more and then she will see me and will change herself. In the same time, I pray to God to give her the good thought. Only God can change one’s heart.

  • Do together as many things as you can.

  • One of the biggest mistakes in a marriage is to gossip about spouse’s relatives, especially about parents. Slander leads to big quarrels, and in the future you’ll suffer the consequences. Certainly, there will appear tense situations about relatives, because of different lifestyle and temperaments. Accept and respect your wife’s relatives in the same way that you want your relatives to be respected and accepted. The best way is not to slander her/his parents, but to forgive. If you will avoid this, you will have a happy marriage.

  • Do not put your parents above your husband because: „For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

  • Be aware that there will appear cold and boring moments, but God and Mother of God can bring peace and love again, just ask for it.

  • Do not speak evil of your husband (wife) in discussions with others, because it’s like talking bad about you, and doing so you will feel the effect of evil that you wear in your heart first time your eyes will meet your beloved.

  • Do not abstain to have children because they will make you love more one another.

  • Your love should reflect to everyone.

Tips can go on forever but all can be concluded with our Saviour’s words: “As you would that people should do to you, do ye also unto them!”

(Claudiu)

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